Dear 90's G,

James will come to Pontiac and you will not feel like going to the show because it's a week night or some such nonsense.  Do not make any excuses!  Do not tell yourself you will go see them "next time".  Next time will not come.  You will regret it for the rest of your life.

Signed,

Future G

Pre-Occupied

There has been a great stirring in NYC over the past couple of weeks.  Occupy Wall Street has taken over parts of the city.  I cannot begin to explain what it means to me.  People are frustrated with the way the huge banks and financial institutions have bought and paid for government.  They're upset at the fact that there is little distinction between Wall Street and Washington.  Upset at the way banks toy with people's lives.  Upset that they gave out predatory loans and then reaped great rewards when the owners defaulted and the banks collected their insurance money.  Upset because of the children living on the streets because of those mortgages.  Upset at the wealth gap and stuff like this:

I could go on.  Sadly, it's not just Wall Street.  It's health insurance companies, it's oil & gas, it's the concentration of the media in the hands of a few super-rich folk, it's companies like Monsanto. 



If I could be there with everyone I would be.  It is such an exciting time to see so many people coming together to take a stand against corporate greed.  What a shame that they are dismissed as kids with nothing better to do.  I've been very worried and saddened and angered at what I see happening in my country.  So often I feel alone.  No one in my family, no one at work, no one I come in contact with seems to feel the same way I do.  Sometimes I really have to wonder if I'm the crazy one to worry about what kind of world my son was born into.  I feel so helpless.  And hopeless. 

But this all gives me hope.  It makes me giddy.  I don't expect that everything will get better overnight because it won't.  There are some very powerful forces that must be toppled, namely greed.  And from what I can tell, greed doesn't die easily.  The other is ignorance. 

I wish I were a better debater.  I'm always so reluctant to express myself when it comes to politics because I really have a hard time doing so.  But I know in my heart what is right.  And I know we're fighting against a rigged system.  I honestly don't understand why more people don't get that. I would go.  I would be arrested.  And I would wear that badge with pride.  700 people were arrested Saturday, many of them as the police led them on the Brooklyn Bridge and then trapped them there.

I pray that we are successful.  I pray that I may be counted among the "we".  I am in my heart.  There are events in Houston this week.  I'm not sure I can make anything.  But I really want to.  Because I know in my gut it is every kind of wrong for children to go to sleep on the streets or in a car with an empty stomach when there is such wealth in this country.

Pink Ribbons, Green Ribbons

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer back in 1999.  Thank God, she's alive and well today.  At the time I thought it was "appropriate" that's what she got because as we all know, the color for breast cancer is pink and pink was already one of her colors.  I, on the other hand, don't do pink at all.  Green is my color.  So, quite a while ago I searched to see what green ribbons stood for, figuring in a lighthearted way that's what I'd end up with.  I saw it was kidney cancer.  "Hmmm," I thought.  "Who gets kidney cancer?  That's odd and rare."

Little did I know who would get it.  I wasn't married at the time, I don't think.  I certainly was a long way off from having my son.  I never in a million years thought it would really happen in my family.  But you know what, Fate?  It should have been me.  You got it all wrong.  We have no idea what Simon's favorite color is.  That green ribbon I was looking up, that was what I was going to get, not my one year old son.  Please pick on someone your own size.

And speaking of pink ribbons, my poor mother had this misfortune of being diagnosed in early October (9th or 10th).  Guess what October is?  Breast Cancer Awareness Month!  She couldn't go five minutes without being reminded of what she was going through.  And that was 1999.  It's gotten so much worse since then.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all about curing breast cancer and whatnot, but the whole "pink" thing has gotten so out of hand.  First of all, you gotta give them props for their marketing.  By "they" I mean breast cancer folks in general.  They really get the message out there, but it does seem to kind of overshadow research and fundraising for other types of cancer.  Secondly, it sickens me to see it being exploited to sell all manner of claptrap.  Here's just a sample.  I'm sure it's much more about boosting sales than helping the cause in any meaningful way.

My favorite is when I'm at the grocer's and they ask me if I want to donate a dollar for breast cancer.  Thanks but no thanks.  I have no idea where the money I give you is going.  If I donate it will be to a reputable organization.  I always feel like I must look like a jackass for saying no.  But I don't care.

So, this month is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.  It gets almost no attention.  Next month is when we get the onslaught of pink. 

Taxes

Taxes are done for another year.  And again, I tell myself I really need to get an accountant.  I can do them myself and up to this current moment I can say I've never been audited.  I've had minor errors where I've read the tax table wrong or something of the like that's changed what I owe/get refunded.  I'm no math whiz and frankly hate numbers.  But working real estate and now having a kid makes me realize I really should hire someone to find all the things I probably miss.  But I'll worry about that next April.

I can't believe my dilemma is real

I have been on a serious Spin Doctors kick lately.  A couple of weeks ago I saw they are coming to Houston ON MY BIRTHDAY!  The bad part is they're opening for Rick Springfield.  Yes, remember him?  I guess most people feel that way about the Spin Doctors, too.  But for me they've always kind of been there and they still are.  When they first hit it big and came to Pine Knob I passed on going.  Then the day of the show came and I was pretty cheesed off at myself.  Their second album came out about the time I started my real college and moved on campus.  I had a horrible time adjusting.  To this day Turn It Upside Down reminds me of the few weeks I spent in my solo dorm room that late summer of '94.  That summer I had the pleasure of my first Spin Doctors concert.  All I can say is "WOW".  Them boys know how to put on a show.  I hadn't missed one since up until they did a benefit at the Houston Zoo last fall.  I'd seen them at sold out shows at Pine Knob and the Intersection (old), Summer Celebration in Muskegon, and even made it on their guest list to one of their Pine Knob shows.  I sang horrible karaoke to Jimmy Olsen's Blues one very drunken night at a divey bar.  I'm friends with Chris Barron on Facebook and am in awe of the life he leads.  He seriously makes me smile when I read some of the things he writes.  He has an awesome soul.  I exchanged emails with him and the bass player back in the day.  They're the whole reason I got to go to England and now dream of moving there.

So now I have a dilemma.  The last time I saw them they opened for Hootie and it was awful.  I have no beef with the show they put on but the audience was so not into it.  It really ruined the experience.  Even though they're playing Houston again (ON MY BIRTHDAY!  DID I MENTION THAT PART???!?) I don't know if I want to spend $120 I shouldn't spend on a concert.  Something tells me a Rick Springfield crowd wouldn't be that into them, even less so than the Hootie crowd.  But, I also can't imagine that Rick Springfield would draw a bigger crowd than the Spin Doctors.  Maybe I'm naive, but I happen to think there would be as many people there for the Spins as for Springfield.  And every time I listen to them I feel like I'm listening to old friends.  I feel like I have to go.  Another reason is that mostly the people I want to see don't come to Houston.  They're one of the very few bands I'm genuinely excited about.

The Prius

Gretchen in car form... if only it was green.

My big development sold out a couple of months ago and I decided that I should treat myself because it was a big relief to have it over.  And my current vehicle needed some work done.  I decided to go nuts and in celebration of the end of the development I'd treat myself to a Prius.  I don't make enough money to actually go out and buy one, but I sure as heck could rent one while I left my car with the doc.  So I went for it and splurged.

Oh.  My.  Gosh.

I loved it!  It's me in car form.  Mind you, I'm so not a car person.  But I loathe driving my Malibu.  It's got so many quirks I can't mention them all because I forget about the ones that have been around forever.  The newest is that the fan won't blow unless it's all the way on high.  But the Prius, she was a damn car.  I loved how you start it up.  I love the little shifter.  I love how you can't even tell it's running.  I'm used to feeling like I'm laying on a bed that takes quarters in a sleazy motel when I'm idling the Malibu.  I loved watching the little picture of the car and the gas engine and battery flux capacitor thing.  I loved seeing I was getting 100 damn miles per gallon of petrol. I was even giving other Priuses(?) little 'sup nods in my head.  I also loved that I didn't have the oldest car in the parking lot.  I actually enjoyed driving!  I wanted to drive!  I feel like I rarely get to express myself anymore.  I spend a great deal of time biting my tongue in most of the company I keep.  I so don't fit in.  But in a superficial way I was expressing myself, and darn if it didn't feel good.

So, I had my fun for two whole days.  Then it was over.  It was back to reality.  The good news was they couldn't find anything wrong with my car.  The bad news was that it just had new noises it was making and I would have to live with it.  I teared up on my way to the shop.  I was hoping maybe they were still working on my car.  Maybe they forgot to fix the taillight.  Maybe I could have the Prius another day.  No such luck.  I handed over the "key" to the Prius and got my key back.  As I walked out to my car I started really crying.  Renting the car was a good treat insomuch as I wasn't actually buying something I don't need, but it was kind of cruel because I had just enough time to get used to it. 

Maybe someday I'll own one.  I do want to get a new car this summer, but I don't know if the Prius is in the cards.  But I think I'll have to look into it.  And, as I told one of my bosses, Secretary's Day is coming up.